Dog Tales

Not the scheduled story, I know. Go somewhere else if you want something gruesome for today! Check out Death Piglet in the links to the right, or Happy Tree Friends, you sick sick creature.

I'm really missing that mutt today.

Oh yeah, a final note. At least three of you have heard this story before. Still, you're nice kids. Indulge me, okay?


Mom, she was never a dog person. But a long time back, back when I was living in Hyderabad in fact, Dad managed to hoodwink her into thinking that getting a dog would add security to our lives. Skeptical still, Mom said a very hesitant yes, and before she had a chance to worry about what she'd just done, Dad made sure that the dog was installed in the house. Just how much security he added we discovered soon enough.

In true dog fashion, Dog (whose name is really Devil. What can I say, I was on a Phantom trip at the time!) would waggle his tail at any random stranger who passed by, and even attempt to gambol playfully.

There was this one time though, when I think he decided that he should prove his worth. I dunno why. Maybe he wanted more meat or something. Dogs are inherently stupid and inherently greedy, so it's really quite possible.

So when a family friend decided that he needed to borrow the oven, Dog decided that he can't let just about anyone pick up our stuff! And so there was a dog shaped torpedo which launched itself at a rather nice person, who, if he hadn't been carrying a thick wallet would probably need a prosthetic posterior today.

That was typical Dog for you of course. One minute he's a dumb ole goat and the next, well, he's biting bottoms! But the strangest incident which that dumb mutt was involved in involved some cats, naturally.

We used to put out a bowl of milk for the mutt in the evenings, or maybe it was the afternoons. It's been a while now, but I remember that that day I'm sitting around and I hear a funny noise coming from the corridor that led to the kitchen.

I walked in and this is what I saw - one dog, staring helplessly at his bowl of milk. And three kittens, drinking aforementioned milk quite unconcerned that there's a really big Alsatian right behind them!

Of course, if kittens confused him, then I think that cats should've terrified him. Because, like most dogs, he chased cats regularly, but each time he managed to corner one, bad things happened. The first time he cornered a cat, he was quite confused, because he didn't know what to do after this part. The cat though, had no doubts, and took a swipe right at his nose, which worked, for the cat anyway. After that, he sorta figured that he's supposed to chase cats, and run away the moment he catches up... As if anyone needed further proof that dogs are dumb!

Though of course, there was really never any need for proof that dogs are dumb after this one thing he did. While we were still living in Hyderabad, the dog didn't quite know what he's supposed to chase and what he should ignore.

And so, to compensate, he tried to hunt down every single living thing he saw.

Which was working fine for him as long as he was trying to eat our neighbours, but then he got the notion that he could bring down a cow. And once, Dog struggled mightily against the leash when he saw a cow.

And so my father just let the leash go. Now Dog hadn't really been expecting this I think. It was really more about being macho than actually wanting to take a bite out of the cow that Dog had been struggling. You could tell because he stood rock still for a moment, and looked extremely bewildered. Then, he charged the cow, and bit its leg.

And then he flew through the air, after the cow kicked him. Dogs are dumb. But he never chased a cow again, which shows that they can learn, sometimes. Unlike many people that I know.